a journey through the Pacific

Monday, September 19, 2005

Once upon a time in a kingdom far far away, the king & queen were blessed with a beautiful girl & throughout the land, everyone was happy.

Little did they realise that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment.

Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother, who helped them lock the young princess away in a tower, where she awaits the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming..lol..

And so like all fairy tales, Prince Charming has to embark on a perilous journey, through blistering cold & scorching desert, travelling the many days & nights & risking life & limb.
Finally he reached the legendary land of the frogmen.

It was said that the land of the frogmen was such a dreadful place that no man has managed to survive the ordeal. The place was wrapped in a blanket of green rancid gas & anyone could smell that horrible stench hundreds of miles away. Needless to say, toxicity level was an absolute 10, based on a range of 0-10, with 0 being the least toxic.

Reaching the land of the frogmen, Prince Charming was shocked to see only one repugnant frogman guarding the tower.

"I presume you are here to save the Princess" said the frogman.

"There is one condition though. If you can finish everything in this pail, i'll allow you to go up the tower"

Having said that, it lifted the lid & there it was, a pail full of sotong with huge tentacles!

"What the hell is that?!!" Prince Charming screamed in horror.

"This thing is apparently called the sotong. It is the most terrifying gastronomic dish ever known to humans. Consuming a large quantity of sotong will either cause a person to suffer from seizures or, in the worst case scenario, dance toe-teh-toe-teh like a jelly faggot".
Following this, the frogman started to laugh uncontrollably, its laughter resembling that of a retarded bullfrog.

"You are sick!!!!!!!!"

Maybe it was due to excitement or indigestion of the meepok he had for lunch, Prince Charming felt a rush of air suddenly & farted as a result.

POoooooooooooOOOOOO!!!!!!

Certainly not very charming yah..

The reason why Prince Charming chose to negotiate with the frogman instead of killing it was because the moment it raises up both its arms for self-defence & exposing those smelly armpits, breathing would already be a problem, not to mention winning.

In the end, Prince Charming swallowed his pride & forced the sotong down the throat as best as he could, whilst pinching his nose. In the mean time, his stallion was vomitting at one corner.

Finally, after close to 2hrs, with a red nose & on the verge of tears, he managed to finish the entire pail of sotong. Struggling, he climbed the tall tower till he entered the Princess' chambers.

"You have finally arrived, my prince charming"

"Yes indeed. Will you marry me, my beautiful princess?"

"If i tell you i won't look beautiful without make-up will you still marry me?"

"Of course. I prefer natural beauty."

"If i tell you that i have the habit of snoring will you still marry me?"

"Well, i can live with that."

By now, Prince Charming had crossed the room to where the Princess was. Seeing her silhouette, he pulled back the glossy curtain & HORROR OF HORRORS!!

There on the bed lay Patricia Mok!!

Prince Charming suffered an immediate cardiac arrest, vomitted blood & died on the spot.

Now he know why so many men did not survive the ordeal..

~Lol..i'm bored..

Posted by PC @8:56 PM | 1 comments